Last Tuesday night, November 22, while I was forcing myself to sleep, something very trivial, yet almost philosophical, popped into my mind
I do not know what prompted my brain to bring out a dialogue from Claudine Barretto and Piolo Pascual's movie, Milan.
In one of the last sequences, Piolo Pascual bumped into Claudine Barretto on a bridge. Piolo's character begged Claudine's character to take him back because he needs her, then he proceeds to tell her that he loves her.
Claudine's character replied, tearfully, with these words: "Mahal mo ba ako dahil kailangan mo ako? O kailangan mo ako dahil mahal mo ako?" (English: "Do you love me because you need me? Or do you need me because you love me?").
It struck something in my consciousness that I left me wondering 'til the sun slowly rose outside my bedroom window.
Do you love somebody because you need them? Or do you need somebody because you love them? Hmmm...
I've thought long and hard to analyze what those words meant. Petty, I know, but I came to realize that each statement holds different meanings, with different emotional intensities.
When one says that he loves you because he needs you, it seems like that person basically NEEDS you more than he LOVES you. The love he has is based on his desire for you.
To me, it sounds pathetic. It's like the person is playing with your emotions, by consoling you with sweet words that soothes and warms your being, when, in reality, he just wants something from you. He may be getting something beneficial from you: love, material things, sex, whatever. It seems like a last ditch effort to gain your trust and affection, or to get you back. It's a desperate plea, using love as an
excuse.
On the other hand, when one NEEDS you because he LOVES you, it's like life means nothing to him without you. It's your entire being, your presence, that keeps him going. He feels inadequate, incomplete being apart from you. Loving you is what keeps him alive. In essence, his Love outweighs his yearning for you.
Romantic, isn't it?!? Sigh!
Personally, I'd like to find someone who would need me because he loved me. But common sense tells me that neither Love, nor Need, should take precedence over the other. There should be an equinimity between the two.
If you need the other person too much, you lose your sense of self and you would tend to become weak. Whilst excessive love, may lead to obsession, fixation and dependence.
In this world, there really is no such thing as Perfect Love or Perfect Need. However, I still believe that Perfect Love is best described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, which states that:
"Love is patient and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not arrogant; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."
If we only heed what Perfect Love is, then, I guess we could achieve and find the Love that we all deserve. A love to be shared with someone who neither needs you because he loves you, nor loves you because he needs you.
I do not know what prompted my brain to bring out a dialogue from Claudine Barretto and Piolo Pascual's movie, Milan.
In one of the last sequences, Piolo Pascual bumped into Claudine Barretto on a bridge. Piolo's character begged Claudine's character to take him back because he needs her, then he proceeds to tell her that he loves her.
Claudine's character replied, tearfully, with these words: "Mahal mo ba ako dahil kailangan mo ako? O kailangan mo ako dahil mahal mo ako?" (English: "Do you love me because you need me? Or do you need me because you love me?").
It struck something in my consciousness that I left me wondering 'til the sun slowly rose outside my bedroom window.
Do you love somebody because you need them? Or do you need somebody because you love them? Hmmm...
I've thought long and hard to analyze what those words meant. Petty, I know, but I came to realize that each statement holds different meanings, with different emotional intensities.
When one says that he loves you because he needs you, it seems like that person basically NEEDS you more than he LOVES you. The love he has is based on his desire for you.
To me, it sounds pathetic. It's like the person is playing with your emotions, by consoling you with sweet words that soothes and warms your being, when, in reality, he just wants something from you. He may be getting something beneficial from you: love, material things, sex, whatever. It seems like a last ditch effort to gain your trust and affection, or to get you back. It's a desperate plea, using love as an
excuse.
On the other hand, when one NEEDS you because he LOVES you, it's like life means nothing to him without you. It's your entire being, your presence, that keeps him going. He feels inadequate, incomplete being apart from you. Loving you is what keeps him alive. In essence, his Love outweighs his yearning for you.
Romantic, isn't it?!? Sigh!
Personally, I'd like to find someone who would need me because he loved me. But common sense tells me that neither Love, nor Need, should take precedence over the other. There should be an equinimity between the two.
If you need the other person too much, you lose your sense of self and you would tend to become weak. Whilst excessive love, may lead to obsession, fixation and dependence.
In this world, there really is no such thing as Perfect Love or Perfect Need. However, I still believe that Perfect Love is best described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, which states that:
"Love is patient and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not arrogant; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."
If we only heed what Perfect Love is, then, I guess we could achieve and find the Love that we all deserve. A love to be shared with someone who neither needs you because he loves you, nor loves you because he needs you.
1 comment:
hey.. i needed to read that quote... thanks! it does make so much sense!!
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