Thursday, June 09, 2016

June 9, 2016

Been pretty lax with the blog postings for a couple of years... I guess it's the boredom, or the lack of substantial things to say.

I'm not a Mom, so I can't really blog about being one... I'm a foodie, but I don't like posting much about stuff that I like eating, unless I really feel passionate about the food...

But today, of all days, I felt the urge to write something... Not sure if this is due to hormones, boredom, or just the lack of people to talk to (whatever!)...

Last night, as with the last few nights, I watched one of the movies saved on my Hard Drive which I have not watched before. Last night it was "Something Borrowed," starring Ginnifer Goodwin, Kate Hudson, John Krasinski and Colin Egglesfield.

I thought it was just your typical story of childhood girlfriends: one becomes the popular party girl, while the other is a more mature professional (doctor, lawyer, etc.). They would seem polar opposites, but they love each other despite their differences. Both would fall for the same guy, with the more "mature" friend sacrificing her affections in favor of her relationship with her life-long best friend. 

But, this movie had something about it that made me think... Made me feel things I haven't felt in a long time (while watching a movie). In the scenes where Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin's character) was having flashbacks, from the time she walked away from the dinner she was having with her best friend, Darcy (Kate Hudson's character), and Law School crush, Dex (Colin Egglesfield), 6 years earlier, I felt a pinch, a tightening, in my chest (and I still feel it, as I remember the scene). It seems that I feel what Rachel felt when she saw the 2 people she loved hitting it off, thinking that they are better off together.

Rachel thought that Dex, a good-looking, well-bred guy, wouldn't fall for her, a geeky, studious person. All the while, Dex was pining for Rachel, but was distracted by Darcy's outgoing personality, that he, eventually, fell for her.

My takeaway from the movie: A dull ache in my heart... Maybe an aching to feel how it is to love, and be loved? I don't know...

I consider myself an NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth), although it is not entirely accurate. I did have a boyfriend at 13... Of course, at that time, I didn't know how it was to have a boyfriend. We just hung out, talked... We never even held hands! I'm sure my parents would be glad to know that I never even kissed this guy. Heck! I haven't even kissed ANY guy in an intimate way!

Now, at age 36, I feel as if I've lost that window of opportunity of finding THE ONE. To feel giddy with someone. To feel in love like a kid.

Also, I've never had a relationship quite like Darcy and Rachel's. I don't think I really have friends who I could really consider as a Best Friend, and who considers me the same. I'm always an after-thought to some of the people I grew up with. Like a wallflower: Always from the outside looking in.

I shall digress, because this is getting too self-deprecating. And I don't like pity parties...

Anyway, the movie ended in a good note for Rachel and Dex, with them ending up with each other, while Darcy ends up pregnant with another guy's baby.

I like this one because it seems like a light movie, with pinches and tingles here and there. I love romantic comedies and light love stories, as they usually make me happy and temporarily giddy. Well, they still do...

Sunday, January 10, 2010

January 10, 2010

It's 2010, and I have not been posting my thoughts for quite a long time. And plenty a-thoughts have gone by unsaid.

These past few days, however, have been quite a rollercoaster ride for me. A ride I've never wanted nor would ever want to take again. Last time I felt this way was on the eve of my Birthday. Sigh.

Why do I feel so gullible? Why do I always give my all, my everything? I know I should leave some for myself, but I never do. Now, I'm left with nothing. I just wish my Mom was here so I could have a sounding board for what I'm feeling.

Sigh... What to do, what to do?!?

Saturday, September 27, 2008

September 27, 2008

I am sooo good!!! I am sooo damn good!!!

What can I say?!? After staying up until 4:00AM trying to figure out how to make this darn wireless router work... We're now a Wi-Fi Hotspot!!!

After what seemed like ages that we were disconnected with the entire WWW, we finally got reconnected through Globe Broadband. The tech people from Globelines came over yesterday afternoon and installed our new DSL Connection. Because I was just sooo happy we're connected again, I forgot to ask the Tech People about how to go about connecting the Modem to the Wireless Router. But, then again, they said the connection was Plug-and-Play, so I just dismissed it.

Anyhoots, I tried to connect the Modem to the Router, just like we used to when we had our old ISP, but I wasn't able to connect to the 'Net. Hmmm... I sent an SMS to my brother so he can configure this darn thing. When he came home, we were stumped coz we couldn't get the darn thing to work. He finally gave up after about an hour, and I tried to fix it using my Dad's laptop... As a last ditch effort (it was already 3:30AM!!!), I called up Globelines Tech Support for some help, but since I can connect to the 'Net directly from the Modem cable, they said it might be a problem with the Router.

Since D-Link doesn't have Tech Support in the Philippines, I had to shoot an email to Singapore with our Router problem. After sending the email, I just had to give up. My shoulders were already killing me, and telling me to lie down.

Fast forward to about 9:30PM today. I finally opened my email to find a response from the D-Link Tech Support with instructions on how I can troubleshoot the Router. I called Globelines again to ask whether they use PPPoE (don't ask me what that means, I don't know either!), Static IP (again...???) or Dynamic IP (duh!). After I got my info, I tried it and... VOILA!!! We're WIRELESS!!! Woo-hoo!!!

Now... If I can only make this darn PC to work faster...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

September 11, 2008

My Birthday officially ended about 4 and a half hours ago, and yet I haven't felt like it was really that special. I think, only the beginning of my birthday was the one worth remembering.

Last September 9 was the 40th Day of Tito Pat Lubaton's passing. In the Filipino Catholic culture, we observe it with prayers, the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass & some fellowship (aka. Breaking Bread, aka. Feasting, aka. Eating). Since Tito Pat's family is like my own, I decided to drop by after school, to remember Tito Pat & just show the family my support.

After dinner, my Parents wanted to go home & rest for the day. Chi-Chi, Tito Pat's eldest daughter, and a very good friend of mine, asked my Parents if I could stay longer, and told them that she'll just bring me home. I didn't mind, since I loved catching up with them anyway, and I was looking forward to chatting with Tatee (my Best College Buddy & one of the closest people in my heart, who also happened to be Tito Pat's youngest daughter --- Yan Tatee ha! Youngest!!!) over the net (Tatee lives in Singapore now).

As the night wore on, all of the guests have gone, Tatee already logged off, the late night news was done, and the rain pounded heavily on the roof, I still found myself in the Lubaton residence, just chatting with Chi, Bong, Dennis, Gerard & Tita Cindy. At about 11:45PM, I asked Chi, if it was ok for her to bring me home already, since I had a very early class the next day. Chi went to her Parents' bedroom to, what I assumed was, tell Tita Cindy that I was leaving. I was wondering what kept Chi, when I saw Dennis looking over my shoulder with some confusion. I looked back and I saw Chi holding a Red Ribbon Cake with candles lit!

The Lubatons gave me an impromptu Birthday Celebration right smack at Midnight! To think that the get-together was really just to remember Tito Pat, and not my Birthday. Somehow, I felt that Tito Pat was giving me one last gift for me to remember him by. He wanted me to celebrate the start of my birthday with him and his family. I was so touched! No one had ever given me a cake in such a very long time. And what gave it more meaning, was that Tita Cindy, and her kids, tried to forget their loss for a few minutes to celebrate my life. No one, other than my family, has ever done that for me. I feel blessed. I feel loved. I feel special.

When I got home, I felt at peace. I forgot about my "Birthday Blues" for a while, and I suddenly found it easy to sleep (which is a first!). Unfortunately, I was roused by the sudden clanging of our door bell, announcing that the Water Delivery Service has arrived to fill our tanks. I had to wake my cousin up, while I tried to go back to sleep, which seemed like an impossible feat. I tried in vain, until it was time for me to go to school. I had a big breakfast, and went on my merry way.

The rest of my day was spent in school (for about an hour and a half), in the Internet Shop, trying to be like a Gymnast & balancing on narrow elevations to avoid the floods, and walking around the Mall of Asia with my Mom.

I wanted to go home early, since I wanted to catch up on my sleep, but since the traffic outside was horrendous, my Mom just told me to go with her to the Prayer Meeting, so that someone can also keep her awake while she drove. We got some Starbucks Coffee before we went into Sanctuario De San Antonio for the Community Mass.

I really did not want to go to the Community Mass since I was already tired and had a terrible headache. But I think the Lord had other plans. There was a part of the mass when I really felt the Lord touch me. I started to tear up, but I was able to control myself. I wiped away the tears, and just relished in the experience.

Since my Birthday has already gone to a close, I'd just like to thank everyone who remembered. Though the numbers have dwindled (as did my age! Hahahaha!), I still appreciate the thought. Love you all. And now, I have to sleep since I only have an hour left before I have to wake up. Thanks again!!!

Monday, September 08, 2008

September 9, 2008

Tomorrow is my Birthday. The day I hit the big 2-9. I should be happy, nay ecstatic, but why is it that I feel positively bummed out?!? It's not the age thing, or my love life (or lack thereof). I just don't feel... Happy.

It has been that way for a couple of years now. If you guys back track on my past birthday blogs, I'm always bummed out on my birthday for some odd reason. I now have a name for it. I call it my "Birthday Blues." I don't exactly know why, but maybe its because I feel that the previous year has been wasted on nothingness, or that I fear that my new year would be just as bad, or even worse.

Another thing that pesters me is that I feel very out of touch with my friends. Since we all have different lives now, I find it scary that I may find myself alone on my Birthday. Yes, text messaging, Friendster messages & comments, and even Facebook or Multiply Guestbook messages may come, but a hug still beats all of that Technology Crap.

I also feel quite deprived nowadays, which may be the added stress to my "Birthday Blues" episode this year. I am definitely not the materialistic type, and I generally depend on the good graces of other people for my new clothes (my brother just bought me a new H&M shirt from his recent trip to Macau), School & Duty Stuff (hand-me-down books & Stethoscope from my Sister, an old Sphygmomanometer from my Mom), School Bags (from my siblings), and allowance (from my Aunt in the US & my parents). I don't have a swanky laptop, or iPod, or even a Digital Camera. I just make do with my trusty Sony Ericsson K610i, which my brother got as a free gift from Globe, and our very old (and very slooooowww...) Desktop Computer without Internet (which is, unfortunately, busted at the moment). I am not complaining, nor am I planning on doing so... Its just that, sometimes, I really, desperately want to have one, or some of those "luxuries" just to make my life a bit more interesting.

But right now, I'm settling for an enrollment in the Applied Medical Sciences Program of Power Memory so that I can remember everything I learned much easier. I told my Mom that it is my ONLY wish for my Birthday. I'm even bargaining with her about me paying half of it, and the rest will be her Birthday & Christmas gift for me. I just hope she'll give in.

I really cannot wait to graduate and pass the Nursing Board Exams so that I can start working & earning for myself again. This time around, I have a well-laid plan for my earnings. Just one more year, Elaine... Just one more year...

Sunday, June 08, 2008

June 8, 2008

Its been forever since I updated my BLOG. All I can say is that, the time I spent away from my BLOG is the same amount of time I have been toxic in school.

That, and well... A few note-worthy events...

My cousins from SFO, DeeDee, Paul & Kristine, came to the Philippines to attend the Anniversary of Banal Na Pag-Aaral (BNP), which they are a part of. Paul & Kristine stayed at our place after their BNP Anniversary Event in Amadeo, Cavite, while Deedee went back to Bulacan, where her Mom's family stays. I had a great time with them, and thankfully we were on a week-long school break when they came.

Another note-worthy event was the Lunch-Buddies Dinner. Nurse Gwadz, our very "Imported" friend, was in the Philippines for a visit and since she had a very hectic schedule, we only had time for Dinner in Greenbelt 3. Jopay Agustin, Tin Racho, Gwadz & her Boyfriend (Gwadz! I forgot his name!!! Sorry!!!), and I had dinner at the Thousand Cranes Shabu-Shabu Restaurant on GB3's 2nd Level. We shared 1 Beef & Seafood Pot and a lot of Sushi! Hahaha! Though the Shabu-Shabu Pot was only good for 1 person, it fit the 5 of us!!! Diet?!? Hahaha! It was really nice to see old friends again. We got to catch up on what's up with each one of us... Even if Tin was late! Hahaha!

Anyway, school's been tough these past few days, especially with the Final Exams. I had a really bad time on my Metabolism & Oxygenation Exams. I was so bummed, that I couldn't sleep well that night. The next day, I spent the whole morning studying for my Surgery Finals, with my eyes struggling to stay open.

I just got my Surgery Grade, and Thank God! I passed!!! Now, I'll just have to sit at the edge of my chair, anxiously awaiting Judgment Day for both Metabolism & Oxygenation!!! Counting down 'til Tuesday!!! Huhuhu!!! I hope I pass!!!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

April 27, 2008

Last night was the first time, in another very looong time, that I went to mass. I had to go with my Mom to Church since we'd be having dinner after. I could've just easily walked to the nearby Jollibee to wait out the Mass, but I found myself walking into the Church and sitting beside my Mom on the pew.

Eventhough the Mass was in Tagalog (which usually & most definitely gets me confused & distracted), I found myself finishing it without much ado. I must admit, though, I was distracted by this very cute baby infront of me. she was just sooo cute! I wanted to squish her! Hehe.

Back to my Church Experience. During Homily, the Priest talked about being alone and being lonely. He said that lot of people nowadays feel lonely or alone at a much younger age than before, causing a lot of lives cut short by suicides, etc. He also said that a lot of men do not want to go into the Priesthood because they think they would be alone -- meaning not having a family of their own, being uprooted from their families & growing old alone. It is not so, according to him. He said that you will never be alone because God is with you all the time. This made me think...

Maybe that is why, even though I am almost always alone, I don't really feel all that sad. In fact, I think clearly alone. I only feel sad when I think of events, people or things that I've lost touch with. I guess I'm just really the loner type. But I feel a sense of calm when I'm alone. i guess it's because God is the one that fills the void that needs to be filled. That is why I rarely feel alone.

So, that was my Church experience. I'm not saying that it will or will not happen again (my going to Church, that is), but I just wanted to share one of the very rare occasions that I felt at ease in Church.

Moral of the story: You are NEVER alone. God is always with us.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

April 22, 2008

I'm pissed off right now. I came to class about 5 minutes late, but I managed to catch up with the lecture. Unfortunately, some of the stupid Generics (First Coursers) decided they're too good to listen to the Lecture and talked like mad with voices competing with that of our Professor's. It was very distracting, really.

After about 20-30 minutes into the Lecture, our Professor finally had enough of those Generics. He got really mad and, understandably, told off those unruly students. After losing track of the flow of his lecture, our Professor decided to cancel our class for the day.

A lot of us felt shortchanged. Just because those idiots didn't want to listen, we would all suffer. I just spoke to our Professor & asked if I could attend his next class at 6PM so that I would not lose time & money in lectures that I did not receive. Right now, I'm just killing off time so that I can attend the class.

I am not studying this hard so that I can lose precious lecture time no thanks to students who do not even care.

Anyway, that's my day so far. I just want to vent. I'm going to the Library next so that I can read the lecture in advance. See y'all!

Monday, April 21, 2008

April 21, 2008

Today was the Official First Day of Summer School. Last week's classes were cancelled since enrollment was still ongoing, and it would be unfair to the new enrollees if they missed the lectures.

Anyway, my first class is Medical & Surgical Nursing (Oxygenation & Fluids). It was cool since I learned a lot about how the blood is oxygenated and how exactly Oxygen that we inhale turns into Carbon Dioxide when we exhale. Cool process really.

However, I guess because I didn't get much sleep & had allergic rhinitis when I woke up, I felt very sleepy in the middle of the class. I fought my hardest to stay awake, and thankfully, I won! I'm really very interested in what I can learn from my classes, so I try to read in advance also. Unfortunately, we won't get our Syllabus until tomorrow, so I'll be reading blind.

I really don't mind if I don't get to have a long vacation in the next 2 years. That will follow, when I finally work as a Nurse. There's still retirement, anyways. Hehehe! No, really. I don't mind. As long as I can go to the beach at least twice a year's fine with me. I can do all my R&R at home, infront of the TV! Hahaha!

Lately, my migraine's been acting up. Hopefully, I don't get it as bad as I had before. I want to watch what I eat again, but it's hard to do that when everyone else in your house eats just about everything! Hehe. Now I'm craving for a nice juicy burger! Lol!

Anyway, I gotta go pick up my Mom from her Review so that we can go home together. We'll see how everything swings this summer. See y'all!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

April 14, 2008

Today is the 1st Day of Summer School, and I cannot believe that I've been taking up Nursing for a year already. Truly, time flies fast. It was almost exactly a year ago that I quit working and started a life that I have left behind for over 7 years... a poor, non-earning, full-time student.

It is in looking back that I realize that I've learned so much: in both academics & life.

I've learned that Nurses should'nt be treated any differently than Doctors. They are not the "maids" or "helpers" in the Hospital to cater to your every whim. They bring the care factor in the healing process. Although there are thousands, or even millions, of students taking up Nursing, only a very few are meant to be REAL Nurses. I hope that I am one of them. It would be such a great honor to be a REAL Nurse.

When I first decided to get out of the workforce and finally stopped earning, I was genuinely afraid. I had been used to having my own money, going out whenever I felt like it, eating at great restaurants & spending not less than PhP500 a meal, & basically leaving the house with no less than PhP1500 in my wallet. Suddenly, I had to budget a meager PhP250 a day for everything I needed. Sometimes I would even have only PhP200, considering that my transportation costs would be around PhP150 a day. I felt lost. I felt poor. I was desperate.

About 6 months into my "state of poverty" I learned to, somehow, live with it. I began to adjust my lifestyle to my means and just stuck with the basics. I foregone my Postpaid Cellphone Line and got a Prepaid one, I ate in the School Canteen or cooked my own Lunch to save money. I also wrote my notes in Pad Papers, whcih I would compile later on, to save on Notebooks. I didn't go out much anymore, I didn't have any gimmicks, heck! I haven't even been to the Cinemas for the longest time!!!

But that doesn't mean I don't have a life... I do. It's just more simpler now. I enjoy hanging out with my classmates in McDonald's, Isetann or Jollibee just to talk. We also hang out in the library, testing each other during quizzes or exams. When I want to kill time, I walk around Isetann to cool off.

I learn a lot from my classmates. Most of my friends in school are older than I am, so I get to see the world in a more mature light. They help me live a simpler life & I enjoy it tremendously. And... It didn't matter if we didn't have much money, too! Hahaha!

I also made a huge turn around academically. When I was in High School & College, I was a free-spirit. I never really cared much about school. I slacked off a lot and for me, as long as I passed & didn't get a Red Mark in my High School Report Card or was still within the 24 Units allowable failures in College, I was happy. Now, I try & strive to be one of the best in every class that I have. So far, my lowest grade is a 2.5 (equivalent to 79-81%) in Anatomy & Physiology. It was acceptable enough for me considering that the highest grade that was given in that Subject was a 2.0 (equivalent to 85-87%).

I am quite proud of my achievements thus far, and to think that I never resorted or relied on kissing anyone's behind (particularly my Professors'). I got my grades solely on sheer hard-work and perseverance. Although I do feel bitter about those whose grades were "padded" because they tooted the Professor's horn rather well. It shows a disgusting lack of integrity on their part. I do applaus those Professors, though, who stand righteous and treat each student fairly, rewarding only those who truly deserve to be rewarded, regardless of anyone trying to become their "pet."

During our Hospital & Community Duties, I try not to be complacent. I do not want to be or consent to be mediocre. I give to our duties as much as I give to my Class Lectures. I would rather die than be unprepared.

See all those changes in me? Those, I think, are my greatest achievements so far. And it only took a year to happen. What more on this coming school year? I am praying and hoping for the best. I am looking forward to another year of learning and realizations. I just hope I could squeeze in a trip to the Beach at least once! Or maybe even twice! Hehehe!