What's Wrong With Me?

Here it is, People!!! My rantings about being Pathetically Single. (Not that I'm in hurry to be in a Relationship).

I have been Single, Unattached, Eligible, Celibate, and what-have-you, for all of the 24 years and 358 days that I have been in existence in this Earth. Never have I been in a "Romantic Relationship" in all those time. Not unless you count all those "Could-Have-Beens" and "Almost-There" Relationships I've been in. Okay, I did have a previous boyfriend. But does it count?

I was in 7th Grade when I first had a Boyfriend (if you could call it that). He was from San Beda College. We had an interaction with their class, and he was my partner. We got to know more about each other during the rehearsals of the Inter-School Play, Ora Et Labora, and on the phone, in between. What's so funny was, he was always jealous. Even of my friends! He also "pressured" me to go steady with him. That summer, I broke it off with him and moved to another school.

Since then, I've never had a Boyfriend. I've had Mutual Understandings with some great guys, but peer pressure prevented me from getting those relationships any further. Don't get me wrong, my friends wanted me to go into a relationship with some of these guys I had an MU with. I just don't want to be pressured into a relationship by my friends. That's why none of my Mutual Understandings flourished.

Another thing... What's with me that makes all the wrong guys fall for me? Some of these guys already have girlfriends but they still try to hit on me. Some were even friends of mine before they took advantage of the situation and almost Sexually Harrassed me. Good thing I know how to defend myself.

I, also, did not try to engage myself in a relationship while I was still in school. I wanted to concentrate on being a student (though I only faired on the Average scale).

But how come now that I am of age, free to fall in love and free to commit myself to someone, I am having such a terrible time having a relationship?

I believe it is because most men have this pre-conceived vision of the person they would like to be in a relationship with. Most often than not, this person is a statuesque model with 36C bosoms and 24-inch waistlines, perfectly sculpted face, athletic bodies complete with washboard abs. The perfect Trophy Girlfriends. Either that, or these men are Gay. But that, my friends, is another story.

Whatever happened to rapport? To chemistry? To personality? No one cares about it anymore. That's why a lot of marriages end up in Divorce, and relationships into break-ups.

People nowadays look at the superficial beauty rather than one's integrity, personality and character. No one cares about how one has been brought up or what their values are. Lust takes over almost immediately.

This is why average-looking women, those who do not fit into the mold of the picture-perfect model, end up single for most of their lives.

I do not want to be a spinster. Absolutely not! But I also do not want to conform to this public pressure to become a slim, almost-anorexic, model-ish woman just to have a man worth my while.

Though I am completely against discriminating someone based on their looks, I must admit that I also have some standards when it comes to men. Nothing so special or hard. They just have to be clean-cut. No grungy, smelly guys. Someone who knows how to clean up nicely. That's it. Other than that, they should be God-fearing and Family-Oriented.

I also have a list of Non-Negotiables when it comes to Men. I learned this from watching Starting Over. These Non-Negotiables will be further discussed on another entry. But these Non-Negotiables have nothing to do with the Physical Attributes of a Man.

Is Physical Attraction really that essential? What will happen to us who are considered as "average-looking" and who do not possess stick-thin bodies? Would we just rot in the "Reject" bins?

A lot of people tell me that they like my personality. That I am a fun person, someone who they can always rely on and be comfortable with. Some of my friends even tell me a lot of different traits that they love about me. But then again, friends always tell you that.

Sigh... What Is Wrong With Me?!? Is there ANYTHING Wrong With Me?!?