Buzz Off

I had a great weekend just this week. I had nothing more to ask for, and I was content. Honestly, I was even quite relieved to have it over with. It was a tiring weekend, but it was well worth it. I was happy, and that was all that mattered.

But certain people just had to burst that contentment bubble I was in. People who want to ruin other people's day, just for fun.

First, one of my colleagues just had to share that he had a run-in with a ghost, here in our work area, just yesterday. And he knows I am petrified of those stories and experiences. To make matters worse, we were on Graveyard Shift!!!

After he told his story, another colleague just found it essential to rub in the ghost situation by joking about it. They already knew I was scared to my wit's end, and they just had to push my buttons. My Team Leader noticed that I was somewhat pissed, so we tried to talk about it during our weekly PEP Talks. I told her that I did not appreciate having people push the wrong buttons and just continue pushing, as if nothing was wrong with it. How INSENSITIVE can these people get?!?

And just about an hour, or so, ago, another colleague was simply very eager to push me over the edge with uncalled for sarcasm.

That person feels very comfortable in insulting me in jest. He likes doing that to everyone. Just because he thinks everyone likes the way he jokes around, he thinks I can appreciate it as well. At first, I didn't mind because I like this person. He was fun to be with. But as time wore on, his attacks became more sarcastic, more personal and more serious. At least his tone was.

So, how was I to interpret it? He also acted like he disliked me whenever he was around my presence. Since his tone and sarcasm became more serious, I had to perceive it to be a REAL attack. I am not, usually, a confrontational person, but I did try to assert my point.

Today, I just had enough. He was accusing me of unjustly picking the Graveyard Shift for next month.* Hello?!? I had to pick a shift the way everyone did... By drawing lots. Was it my fault I got the lot that said Graveyard Shift?!? How dare he accuse me of being unfair in something that was done at Random?!?

Add to that, everyone already noticed how quiet I was when they arrived. I was still tripping from the "Ghost Stories" from the night before, and he just had to flagrantly accuse me of something I did not do. The heck?!?

So, just to put his mind at ease, I circulated an email within our team about swapping my Graveyard Shift with another. After I sent the email out, he came out with HIS own email circulation saying something about being "mature" about taking jokes. He's talking about being mature?!? Why not talk about being SENSITIVE for a while, huh?!? Jeeze!

After all I've been through with his below-the-belt sarcasm and joking, I will not take any of his crap anymore. Unless he becomes more sensitive to others, his sarcasm is not welcome, be it in jest or not. I just hope, against hope, someone slaps him with the realization that not everyone appreciates his sarcastic remarks, even if they are done jokingly. Because, in the first place, everyone knows that jokes are really half meant!

___________________________

* Our team changes Shift Schedules every month.

Spectacular Spectacles

Let me start this entry with my MSN Messenger Display Name: "My Future Is So Bright, I Broke My Glasses!"

That was my own OPTIMISTIC way of looking at this catastrophe.

If you know me well enough, you'd know that I am dependent on my Glasses.

I have had Myopia (Near-Sightedness) since my early years in Elementary. By the time I stepped into High School, I was extremely helpless without my Glasses. With the high negativity of my eyes' lenses, I'm essentially blind without my eyeglass.

And today, of all the days, the frame of my eyeglass broke. It was a 3-year old Titanium Frame, which I bought with my First Month's Salary from PeopleSupport. It was my bestfriend for 3 years. I read with it, drove with it, cooked with it, did basically everything with it, even slept with it! Every waking morning, it was the first thing I reached out for. I never open my eyes without my glasses on. The only time I would remove it is when I am in the shower.

The frame broke as I reached for it upon waking this afternoon. The left "arm" snapped off like a dried up twig! Along with the arm, the nylon thread, that held the left lens, also broke. It rendered my glasses utterly useless (except for the right side). For the first time, I panicked! I cannot drive to work without my glasses! I cannot FUNCTION without my glasses! I had to do something!

I remembered that my Aunt and I had agreed to meet to go to the grocery and buy stuff for my Birthday Outing (which was rescheduled from the Original Date) this weekend. I called her and told her the situation. She, then, drove me to SM Southmall to buy a new pair.

On our way to the Mall, I felt extremely dizzy. My eyes could not concentrate on one object. It was as if my eyes were on panic mode. It roamed around, trying to find one clear picture. But, unfortunately, the only objects that I could clearly see were the ones that were half an arm's length away. And the glare of the sun didn't help much. I became car-sick in less than 5 minutes!

Thankfully, I was able to find a great looking pair of eyeglasses from Executive Optical. It had black rims, which made me look more sophisticated and smart. Actually, it made me look like a sophisticated Jessica Zafra. Cool. What I liked most about the new frame was the Clip-On that came with it.

As great as it was, it also came with a great pricetag. Good thing, Executive Optical had a sale. I got it at 25% off, which brought down the price to PhP 2685.00. Still a bit pricey, but if it lasts me another 3 years, it would be well worth it.

I still had another problem. I had to buy lenses for this new frame. I had my eyes refracted while I bought my frames, so I was able to get the prescription. I had to canvass around the mall for the cheapest Ultra-Thin Lenses I could find. Of course, they also had to have my prescription.

Executive Optical sold Ultra-Thin Lenses for PhP 2300.00, but they did not have stocks for my prescription. And I needed them badly! The next best price was with Vision Express. They sold Ultra-Thin Plastic Lenses for PhP 2700.00, and they had available stocks for my prescription. They also were able to fit my lenses to the frame in less than an hour!

Although it made me PhP 5385.00 poorer, nothing will still compare with the great relief I felt when I wore my new specs! It's not because I looked better, but because I had clearer vision. I no longer had to squinch my eyes very hard to focus on things. I no longer had to bump into things and people while walking. AND, I no longer had to get car-sick.

I just wish that one day, I will no longer need eyeglasses to see things better.

Ogie Doggie

A Delectable Journey for the Palate... That was what I experienced early this evening.

If you guys have been reading up on my BLOG, I have intimated that I was a gourmand, or a lover of good food. And I love finding new and interesting places and restaurants to eat from. I have, also, previously written about one of the Philippines' Best Singer/Songwriters, Mr. Ogie Alcasid.

So, what does Ogie Alcasid have to do with my love of food?!? Let me resolve that for you...

I love sausages. Not the Canned Vienna Sausages or those Red Commercialized Hotdogs on the Frozen Foods section you find in your local grocery stores (although, I love having them for breakfast!)... Its those big, succulent, gourmet sausages I am talking about! I used to eat a lot of them when I was in the States. I loved those Polish Hotdogs they sold at Costco and in those Hotdog Carts outside the BART Stations. With some Sauerkraut and Mustard... I'm sold!

Unfortunately, those kinds of sausages are fairly rare here in the Philippines. It's either very expensive, or very tiny (one bite is all it takes!).

What a great relief it was when I learned that my favorite Male Artist was opening a Hotdog Stand here in the Metro!

It wasn't your regular run-of-the-mill hotdog stands, commonly found in the Food Courts here. They sell Premium Gourmet Sausages for a very affordable price! And who better to serve you with these mouth-watering frankfurters than Mr. Songwriter himself?!? What more could a Gourmet Sausage Enthusiast, like me, ask for?!? (Well, maybe a song or two?!? With Sauerkraut on the side! Hehehe! Just kidding!)

This latest venture of Ogie Alcasid is aptly named Ogie Doggie. It's located in the newly-opened market-cum-mall at the Bonifacio Global City, Makati called Market! Market! Just a short distance from the C5 Road, it makes Ogie Doggie very accessible to everyone from the Northern and Southern Metro Manila.

His kiosk/stall is strategically located along the walkway between the mall entrance and the parking lot. The kiosk is quite small, and with the massive number of people going to and fro, you just might miss it. But it is still worth the adventure.

I ordered a Hungarian Sausage and a Polish Hotdog, just for kicks. The Hungarian Sausage was spicy enough to give you a tingly sensation in your mouth. It was juicy and very tasty! Yum! And it was filling enough for you to forget about having a midnight snack! (I am still stuffed from that Hungarian Sausage!!!). The Polish Hotdog is yet to be consumed... Hahaha! I am saving it for later!

Only one thing is missing in this flavorsome journey... The Sauerkraut! They did have Pickle Relish and Onions to cover for it, but my tastebuds were craving for the zest and tang of Sauerkraut. Well, as they say, "You can't have Everything!"

So, if you guys (who live here in Manila) are in the vicinity of the Bonifacio Global City, try the different sausages of Ogie Doggie! It's worth your money! (And the Parking is still FREE!).

Congratulations, again, to Kuya Ogie, for a successful venture! May you have more stores to come!

A Sudden Burst Of Nothing

Okay, nothing much is happening in my life right now. After a tumultuous birthday, a great gray nothingness.

I try to find some things that would be of interest to me, but to no avail. Sleep and boredom seems to be my only companion.

I do try to surf the vastness of the Internet, but I end up yearning to be somewhere else, meeting someone new, befriending someone I've been longing to meet.

Pray tell, what am I to do?

It's MY Birthday!

Hey Everbody! It's MY Birthday! I'm gonna party like it's MY Birthday! I'm gonna sip Bacardi like it's MY Birthday! And I know you don't give a F*CK that it's MY Birthday!

I'm a quarter of a century old today. I don't feel like I've been on this earth that long.

Actually, I don't feel a thing. I feel numb. I feel nothing. Is that a good thing? I don't know.

Lately, I've been quite a pessimist. I feel like everything, and everyone, in my life doesn't give a damn about me. It always happens when my birthdays draw near. I always expect something to go wrong before, during, or after my birthday. Something to destroy the mood of the happiness I should feel on my special day.

This year, a lot of things bother me.

First, I found the courage to let go of something (and someone) that has given me great grief. It wasn't as easy as I thought. I had to muster enough determination to write that person a letter stating all the hurts and heartaches that were brought about by meeting that person. I also indicated in the letter that I have to let go of that person so that I could pick up the pieces of my life that have been shattered by just knowing and following that said person.

Sometimes, anxiety sets in after I've written the kind of letter I gave. It's due to the fact that it is during these letter-giving events where I get burned most often. People around that person tend to misread and misconstrue what they read. In the first place, why are they reading letters that are not addressed to them? And, taking what they can from what they've read, they will start to censure and thrash me.

That's why I decided to get away from these people. I need space to keep my sanity. But I've found some sympathetic support from some true friends, which helps me stand my ground.

Second thing that bothers me is my father's inability to extend a helping hand on my party plans. I mean, I'm not asking him for money, or anything, for my birthday, except to call this one person who owns a private resort in the South of Manila, where I am planning to spend my birthday weekend. But, just a day shy of my weekend plans, he has still not called that person up. I mean... Could he be any more uncooperative? Jeeze!

Third, one of my closest friends, the one I am expecting to come, couldn't. Darnit! She's trapped by schedules of this Grand Career-Making Contest she has entered. To think we've been looking forward to my birthday for the last 4-5 months.

Lastly, it seems like a lot of things in my weekend plans are not working. I've been so busy lately to focus on my birthday weekend. Most of my invited friends have not confirmed, and those who did might, I fear, feel left out since most of the people in my weekend getaway party are from my family. I just hope something works. I hope they don't get bored.

Lord help me!

All I wanna do now is get filthy drunk on my birthday and forget all these nuisances in my life! I need some vodka right now!!! Give me my Bacardi!!!

Struck

The whole day, I've been feeling a bit... I dunno... Hmmm...

It's really very funny. I'm not in-love, nor am I seeing anybody with whom I might share that feeling with. But I feel very queasy and mushy inside. No... I don't feel like going to the bathroom. I just have this inexplicable feeling deep inside. It's messing with my head and messing with my emotions.

Maybe I know what it is...

There's just something about those passionate, green eyes... Drives me nuts! Sometimes I think I am about to melt in that green, abysmal paradise.Why am I so attracted to green-eyed people? What's with it?

And this damn music isn't helping any!!! Damn you, Enya!!! (Just kidding!)

Aaaarrrggghhh!!!

Great Pretender

In this world filled with people displaying their uniqueness and individuality, one can only adapt and adjust, to maintain the harmonious balance of society.

In my entire lifetime, I have met, mingled and sustained friendships with different kinds of people. People with different backgrounds, beliefs, upbringings and personalities. Some friends of mine even display contrasting character traits from my own. But I was able to accommodate and adjust to their personalites, without sacrificing mine. I, almost always, try to accept people for who they are, regardless of the circumstances they are in.

Generally, I am not a pretentious person. I may be obnoxious, brash and effervescent, but never a hypocrite. I will tell you that I don't like you, if I don't. If I cannot bring myself to verbalize it, I will surely make it known to you. I am transparent that way.

And if there is anything in this world that I just loathe in people, it would, definitely, be Pretention and Deceit.

Don't you just hate it when you encounter people who masquerade themselves as your friends, and just flagrantly backstab you at each and every chance they get? I call these kinds people the Great Pretenders.

These Great Pretenders have polished skills in betrayal and duplicity, and operate discreetly right under your nose. When you're present, it would seem as if nothing was wrong and that everything is going well amongst yourselves. But once you've turned to another direction, all hell breaks lose and you will not know what hit you. Such treachery is just so despicable.

There are a number of Great Pretenders in my life, right now. But I don't mind them. I just let them do what they want. As if I give a damn! Hah!

I do pray for these people, though. I pray that God will show them the same mercy that they have failed to show me. And I also pray that God will not pass judgment on them, the way they did me.

You see? In the face of adversity, I still try to look at the brighter side of life. Besides, however these people malign and discredit me, there would always be people who know me better than these Great Pretenders do.

Gotta Tell You

Don’t wanna love you, if you don’t love me
Don’t wanna need you when you won't need me, too
Don’t wanna tell you this now
But it wouldn’t be right if I (if I)
Didn’t tell you this tonight

--- o O o ---

I have been sulking the whole time I'm here in the office today. I am so frustrated about being Romantically Challenged, much like yesterday. I was about to doze off, when Samantha Mumba's song, Gotta Tell You, from the year 2000, started playing on my Computer.

The song has been playing on my Computer everyday for the past few weeks, but only had an impact on me now. It gave me a big whack on the face, which, in a way, shook me off the depressive state I was in.

The Chorus (which appears above), made me realize that if somebody is not willing to reciprocate what you are willing to give and sacrifice, you might as well not give it to them. Find someone who will appreciate it better. Someone who will unconditionally recompense you with the same devotion, respect, and passion that you commit to that person.

Do not be a martyr for love.

A lot of people love me for who I am. Sure, they're basically related to me, but, at least, they love me unambiguously. Although brethren love is different from romantic love, it's still one and the same. It's still love.

If that amorous love continues to shy away, move forward and live on. Find another outlet for the pent-up love that was meant to be given to that elusive beau.

But should it come and present itself, be willing to exchange and share who and what you are with that person. In return, know when and what to accept from him. Learn to compromise and communicate. Try to learn from, and with, each other.

Man! I'm learning more about love than what I am experiencing! Love come quickly!!!

What's Wrong With Me?

Here it is, People!!! My rantings about being Pathetically Single. (Not that I'm in hurry to be in a Relationship).

I have been Single, Unattached, Eligible, Celibate, and what-have-you, for all of the 24 years and 358 days that I have been in existence in this Earth. Never have I been in a "Romantic Relationship" in all those time. Not unless you count all those "Could-Have-Beens" and "Almost-There" Relationships I've been in. Okay, I did have a previous boyfriend. But does it count?

I was in 7th Grade when I first had a Boyfriend (if you could call it that). He was from San Beda College. We had an interaction with their class, and he was my partner. We got to know more about each other during the rehearsals of the Inter-School Play, Ora Et Labora, and on the phone, in between. What's so funny was, he was always jealous. Even of my friends! He also "pressured" me to go steady with him. That summer, I broke it off with him and moved to another school.

Since then, I've never had a Boyfriend. I've had Mutual Understandings with some great guys, but peer pressure prevented me from getting those relationships any further. Don't get me wrong, my friends wanted me to go into a relationship with some of these guys I had an MU with. I just don't want to be pressured into a relationship by my friends. That's why none of my Mutual Understandings flourished.

Another thing... What's with me that makes all the wrong guys fall for me? Some of these guys already have girlfriends but they still try to hit on me. Some were even friends of mine before they took advantage of the situation and almost Sexually Harrassed me. Good thing I know how to defend myself.

I, also, did not try to engage myself in a relationship while I was still in school. I wanted to concentrate on being a student (though I only faired on the Average scale).

But how come now that I am of age, free to fall in love and free to commit myself to someone, I am having such a terrible time having a relationship?

I believe it is because most men have this pre-conceived vision of the person they would like to be in a relationship with. Most often than not, this person is a statuesque model with 36C bosoms and 24-inch waistlines, perfectly sculpted face, athletic bodies complete with washboard abs. The perfect Trophy Girlfriends. Either that, or these men are Gay. But that, my friends, is another story.

Whatever happened to rapport? To chemistry? To personality? No one cares about it anymore. That's why a lot of marriages end up in Divorce, and relationships into break-ups.

People nowadays look at the superficial beauty rather than one's integrity, personality and character. No one cares about how one has been brought up or what their values are. Lust takes over almost immediately.

This is why average-looking women, those who do not fit into the mold of the picture-perfect model, end up single for most of their lives.

I do not want to be a spinster. Absolutely not! But I also do not want to conform to this public pressure to become a slim, almost-anorexic, model-ish woman just to have a man worth my while.

Though I am completely against discriminating someone based on their looks, I must admit that I also have some standards when it comes to men. Nothing so special or hard. They just have to be clean-cut. No grungy, smelly guys. Someone who knows how to clean up nicely. That's it. Other than that, they should be God-fearing and Family-Oriented.

I also have a list of Non-Negotiables when it comes to Men. I learned this from watching Starting Over. These Non-Negotiables will be further discussed on another entry. But these Non-Negotiables have nothing to do with the Physical Attributes of a Man.

Is Physical Attraction really that essential? What will happen to us who are considered as "average-looking" and who do not possess stick-thin bodies? Would we just rot in the "Reject" bins?

A lot of people tell me that they like my personality. That I am a fun person, someone who they can always rely on and be comfortable with. Some of my friends even tell me a lot of different traits that they love about me. But then again, friends always tell you that.

Sigh... What Is Wrong With Me?!? Is there ANYTHING Wrong With Me?!?

A Night To Remember

Last August 31, 2004 I had an unexpectedly great evening. It was the 18th Birthday of Rachelle Ann Go, the Winner, and one of my friends, from Search For A Star.

Initially, I was supposed to attend the event with another friend, and Grand Finalist, from SFAS, Iris Malazarte. But due to the heavy rains (and other personal reasons), she had to back out at the last minute. I was pretty frustrated because I wanted to attend the party, yet I was worried that without Iris, I might get left out.

At the last minute, I decided to go with or without Iris. Despite my hesitations of driving in the pouring rain, I braved the slick roads to get to the Philippine Stock Exchange Center in Ortigas, where the party was to be held.

When I arrived, I summoned all my confidence to go in the Ballroom. Inside, I learned that I was going to share a table with my other friends from SFAS: Grand Finalists Melo Valeña and Camille Relevo. It was a great relief, for once, to find familiar friendly faces. I was able to exchange a few pleasantries with them before another friend and SFAS Grand Finalist, Tina Braganza, arrived (with her mom and brother).

From then on out, I had a grand time. We caught up with each others' lives and bonded more than we ever did before. Two other SFAS Grand Finalists (and friends), Genevieve Villabroza and Raymond Manalo, would also drop by our table to chat.

I especially liked the time I had with the girls (Tina, Camille and Jenny). I missed these 3 gals, since we all bonded before the Grand Finals of SFAS.

Jenny was especially sweet as ever. She's just so precious! Iris and I treat her like the baby of the group since we met. After the Grand Finals, Jenny and I were able to communicate only through chats and text messages. But she was always very expressive and very thoughtful. She never failed to express how much she treasures our friendship. She's such a darling! If I'd have another younger sister, I'd like it to be her.

Tina and I were not that close during the Grand Finals of SFAS, but we were friends. She's got a voice that many would kill for. She's also a very pretty young lady. Besides the pleasantries we used to exchange during the Rehearsals, Mall Shows and Tapings of SFAS, we really did not chat a lot. But last Tuesday evening, we made up for all the lost time and bonding of the last 6 months. I found her to be very accomodating, bubbly and lovely person. She engages you in a very animated conversation. She reminded me so much of Iris. We even went on a mission to take a picture of her with her Ultimate Crush, Franco sumthin-sumthin. She made my night a lot of fun!

Camille and I used to talk a lot. She was also Iris' "Twin Sister." They were both funny and nutty! Although Camille was the more silent one, she still had a lot of funky stuff up her sleeve. She also had the best baby talk in the group! For a while, Camille lost touch with most of us. She was kept busy by her band and her studies. For a time there, Iris and I thought that she deliberately hid from us. But during Rachelle's Birthday, it seemed like nothing happened. Although she was a bit silent for a time, she warmed up and joined our little chatter. I missed that old Camille!

Towards the end of the very long program for Rachelle's Debut, we took loads of pictures to remember the event by. We had crazy shots and tons of group pictures. It seemed like we weren't going to see each other for another 5 months! It was pure craziness and fun! I am sure to remember that day for a very long time.

Since Rachelle was extremely busy entertaining her many guests, we were not able to chat with her for a long time. She did, however, take some time away from the maddening crowd to pose for a few pictures with us and exchange some repartees. I wish we would've had a lot more time to chat with Rachelle, but, of course, she had to attend to her other guests.

Right now, I miss all of them... Tina, Camille, Melo, Mon, Shin and Baby Jenny. I miss those times when we used to just hangout in Starbucks (Bayview), or anywhere for that matter, and talk about anything. Of course, I also miss the other SFAS Grand Finalists, Iris, Sweet, Sarah and Jerrianne. It's been like a lifetime since I last saw those kids. I hope the time would come when we would all be able to hang out again.

Now, when would that time be? I wonder...

By the way, I uploaded our pictures from Rachelle's Birthday on my Online Album at Snapfish.com. To view the pictures, just click here.